Is it just me? Or is it because I'm from California? Is it because my mother is an English Professor and the Dean of Humanities? What is my problem? (don't answer that - Lizzie says " you don't have to tell people they're fat - they already know") Anyway, I think it's hilarious about the way people from Utah talk. I didn't come up with this idea, I read about it, and I've added to it, after being here for almost 2 years. Ubonics, the way people talk in U-tah. It's like Ebonics but it's U-bonics for lack of a better word. Here is a start-up vocabulary list, in case you want to take up Ubonics and convert to the language as well as the religion of Utah, or perhaps you want to avoid this. Either way, after reading this, you will be either educated or entertained.
I chose the latter. (by the way, it is a little charming...to talk Ubonics, but it does make one sound a little inept, which makes it funny.)
ENGLISH vs. UBONICSHeal - Hill "I see you're hilled up from your surgery" (Uh, ouch)
Steal - Still "Thou shalt not still" (that confuses the Primary kids)
Deal - Dill "I got a great DILL at the mall" (A pickle stand?)
Feel - Fill "I fill great!" (I don't even go there...)
Meal - Mill "Get three square mills a day" (that's a lot to take in..)
Sale - Sell "I'm having a yard sell today" (I've seen SIGNS spelled that way!)
Jail - Gel "Did you hear OJ is in GEL" (Yikes, is he ok?)
Fairytale - Fairytell (Is that what happens when someone "comes out"?)
Whale - Well "she's as fat as a WELL" (Round wide and deep?)
Sex Appeal- Sex Appell (I can't explain this one AT ALL)
Lord -Lard Q. Where can I find the Lard" A. In heaven. (not appropriate...)
Lay
ton - Lay'en "He lives in Lay'en" (does that mean he's lazy layin' around?)
Co
tton - Co'en "I have Co'en mouth" (isn't it CAUGHT IN your throat?) yikes.
Moun
tain - Mou'en (What? All I know is that they are EAST of here)
Ok folks, so next time you catch me speaking like this, it's either that I'm being slowly brainwashed or I'm just messin' with you, because I think it's funny. I do have to run now, and check and see if the MELL is here. Let me know if YOU have heard any more great words in Ubonics, so I can add them to the list. Don't send me CRICK, BATT-RY or SPA-CIAL I already know that's CREEK, BATTERY, and SPECIAL. Those were the first ones I learned. :)
Today, I am finally breathing again. Peace and Acceptance have come to my doorstep to comfort me. In the months ahead, I will fully rely on the Source of that Peace - The Prince of Peace who can only give the "peace that surpasseth all understanding". Birdie is sprouting wings and leaving the nest soon. 
