Phin is "in"

6.5 Months from Chemo! SGKomen WALK! Check!

BEST DAY EVER! HAPPY SURVIVOR RACE DAY!

Thank you to my precious daughters, Lizzie and Kat & Travis and Claudia to run for "HOPE CHESTS" It was great to see others from "OFF MY CHEST" Cedar Hills 9th ward, and to see all the other fun groups too! Thank you for spending this wonderful day with me, celebrating LIFE. It was sobering to stand with the recently diagnosed, and there were so few of us there that were under a year. More sobering still was the beautiful 16 year old girl, who held the sign who was a 2 time cancer survivor. YES, two times, adrenal and breast cancer and only age 16.... She is the beautiful girl in the middle.... it's just astonishing. I saw lots of people I knew, and they were walking with their families, work team mates, or in memory of someone they lost. Later I'll post more pictures of who I walked for....other than myself. At the end, we sang together the Melissa Ethridge song, and it was true. I walked for YOUR MOTHER, YOUR SISTER, YOUR WIFE, I walked for LIFE. Amazing experience. Thank you to all the organizers for your care and commitment, and thank you to the wonderful neighbors, ward members and my own family, who made all the difference in the (MY) world. For those who didn't participate through this journey, I have a gentle word for you. It's 1 woman of 7 who will get breast cancer, so you will have to learn this one way, or another.... and, I forgave you long ago. You didn't have a clue, and that's okay. When I was younger, I was taught "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity". After not supporting my sister, Darryle through her breast cancer, I can say now, that was stupid. I really lost an opportunity to learn and to serve. For that, I'm truly sorry, and for that, I really missed out. Now I understand it fully, and it took breast cancer to understand it fully, and to understand what it takes to DO what it takes...not just give it lip service. I learned many valuable lessons, and today, I celebrated life. New boundaries, new life, new way of living. I love it.
Onward and Upward and moving in a totally new direction. LIFE IS GOOD.


Travis, Linda, Lizzie, Kathryn, and Claudia right before the walk! :)

16 year old breast cancer survivor and Linda, holding the sign at the front of the last lap to the top of the summit!


At the end of the Survivor Lap, with Lizzie and Kathryn. We did it! Together!

RECENTLY DIAGNOSED GROUP - Less than one year gals.


CHECK yourself before you WRECK yourself!

I'm so LUCKY to be alive!!!


Neighbor DeLayne Dayton and me at the top of the heap with less than 1 year gals!


2011 KOMEN FOR THE CURE, finale!

True love and sacrifice...is doing what it takes.

I don't know if I could do it. This girl had more IVs than I ever had in chemo, and I never once became sick to my stomach. I admire this girl for doing what it takes for her family. All the while, she was interpreting for the deaf, with that thing in her arm from day to day. How in the world did she do it? I love and admire my Kat and her very supportive husband. :) Sorry honey, but you've been through a lot. If you want me to take these down, I will. Hey, at least I didn't post them on Facebook! :) YOU are the trooper.

Lovely Maura Tierney. She's awesome!

This is probably 8 months post chemo and the beautiful Maura Tierney. This is my hair at 6 months out from chemo. I know I can't ever even hope to come close to Maura, in terms of her beauty and bravery during breast cancer and chemo. But today, Lizzie did my hair and colored it, and I am starting to feel better. Thank you little Bella! :)

How can I ever thank you?

I want to thank my children, for being amazing examples of unconditional love during my (fourth of six) medical procedure today. Everything I could ever want in an hour of anguish, was delivered with such precision and care of true "professionals". Back was rubbed, tears were dried, food was prepared, calls were made, tenderness was given, hunger and thirst was answered with refreshment and rest was given. The house was cleaned, and I was able to sleep it off for 7 hours. This is what family is supposed to be. I'm so appreciative for the kindness and gentleness of my husband and how he can create magic in the kitchen. I'm so thankful for a strong gentle son who reaches, lifts and pushes and pulls all the household chores I can't do, and does it with a willing heart and spirit and kind smile. I appreciate Lizzie for her healing touch and always willing to listen and learn so she can be the best help medically and to be a wonderful sister, daughter and mother herself someday. I also appreciate Kat, though while through her own distress and constant nausea and hospital visits 4 times a week, still has time to let me know how much she cares and always calls at the precise moment I need to here her tender voice. A hard worker, she always finds the time to care... Also, I love my husband for being a wonderful example of a husband and father and for staying up to watch the last episode of "Larkrise to Candleford" with me. I am going to sleep well tonight. I'm embarrassed to be this happy, but it's been worth it, every bit of it, and what I had to pay for it, was worth the price...

11 days.... and counting....

What do YOU do when you've had a headache for 11 days? Some days are good, others just put me in bed. I'm trying to be a trouper, I've drank and drank (water) until I'm floating.... trying to work on getting sleep. Do I have to go back to two naps a day 10am and 2pm? Did it that way until Christmas, but only 2 naps since Christmas. Maybe this "kicking cancer to the curb" thing is harder than I thought. I grossly underestimated how chemo would affect me for months out. Any of YOUR headache remedies you'd like to share?

Owl City - Fireflies - ASL Song

A Wonderful Welcome Home! Thank you friends!

Thank you Shelby Carter for taking this picture for the Welcome Home! Love the Pink Ribbon and Poster by the neighborhood and by my VT - Rachelle Pew!

Thank you to the Achievement Day girls for the Flowers!

I am very appreciative for the beautiful pink decorations, streamers and PINK balloons and huge poster and flowers and treats to welcome me home from the Hospital. I am continuing the fight and love and appreciate you all. Hugs to all of you who SHOW they care and those who call and let me know they care also. Bless you sweet friends. You are the bestest. Thank you to Shelby for taking a picture of this house all decorated so I can feel the love. :) Thanks everyone!

Tribute to my Dad

I was just thinking today about how much I appreciate being adopted and how much I love my Dad. He has taught me so much, and I thought I would share his "Dad-isms" here and how much they have meant to me. They were not HIS quotes, but he often quoted them, and many times, I learned AND been comforted by his words.

1) Better to be thought a FOOL, than open your mouth and remove all doubt.

2) Fools names and fools faces are often seen in public places.

3) Never tell a Cornishman a joke on Friday, because he'll be laughing in church on Sunday.

4) "You're bored? Go move that pile of rocks over there!" "You're still bored? Move it back!"

5) Any job worth doing is worth doing right.

6) If someone says something unkind to you, examine it. If it's true, change yourself. If it's not true, continue to live your life so no one would believe it could be possibly true. The truth will out.

7) Fool me once shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you.

8) Don't underestimate yourself, ever. Even if others do.

9) There's always someone else in worse shape, so be a helper.

10) You don't have to know how to swim before you swim. My dad threw me into the pool at age 12 and just yelled for me at the sidelines and said "You're strong, you can do it, HEAD DOWN and kick and FIGHT". Not everyone agrees with this approach and that's totally okay, but I didn't take instruction well, but my Dad knew me, really really new me and he knew that if he was my cheerleader and I learned to fight through it, I would be successful and that's meant the world to me. When my parents divorced, he could have ditched us, as I was not his birth child, but he CHOSE to stay and CHOSE every day to LOVE. For that, I'm so appreciative. I love you Dad! Your words have comforted me through the cancer. I didn't think I could "swim" through this one, but Dad, I'm kicking and fighting and I'm doing it! :)

Embracing the Baldness

Friends and Neighbors threw me a hat party JUST IN TIME! I have wonderful neighbors!

Here is Chemo Infusion #2, for some reason, this one went better than #1. The infusion went better, but I was tired for longer. Thank goodness for wonderful nausea meds, which makes this all DO-able. Now if they can just give me a little pep, but they assure me tiredness is part of the PLAN, so REST! Okay, nap time!

Port Surgery is successful and let's get ready to go!


Hey, if you've ever been through Chemo, you'll be glad you're going bald! It really helps cut the night sweats! WooHoo! I'm 1/2 way through treatments and really looking forward to Christmas! :)

BALD IS BEAUTIFUL - I fight like a girl!

Jan 2010 - Yearly Mammogram, said they saw something odd, will "watch", come back in 6 months. DONE

June 2010 - Mammo, Ultrasound then Biopsy (quietness on the tech's faces told me EVERYTHING) DONE

June 18th, 2010 - Got "the call" DONE

Path = Possible IDC spots (calcifications) and one IDC Invasive Ductal Carcincoma -Low Grade DONE

end of June BRACA- Negative for Braca 1, Negative for Braca 2 DONE

Surgery - Double Bi-lateral Mastectomy with expanders for later reconstruction option DONE. . . . s

Pathology - 5 TOTAL, 3 IDC spots, and 2 IDC Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, one low grade, one high grade. Stage 2A DONE

Aug 12th, first meeting with Breast Cancer Survivors Group - Look Good, Feel Better DONE

Aug 15th, Shave head bald (maybe with a little faux hawk) in evening with Kat.

Aug 16th, Surgery - Portacath for ChemoPort
Aug 16th, Massive Grand Mal at 10:30pm, fancy ride in Red "bus", got home at 3:30AM

Aug 17th, don't remember much of that day.

August 18th, rocking date with Kat, so much fun, I'm afraid to tell ya. Let's just say we got the royal treatment. :)

Aug 19th, 4 rounds of Taxotere, & Cytoxin 21 weeks apart Hair to fall out approximately on day 11-17.

Then Radiation

Dolly Pasquale - Second to NONE! Happy B-day!

My Birthday Girl!!!

Kathryn with "her baby", Lizzie

Best Friends Forever!

Kathryn loves her big brother!

Lizzie and Kathryn "modeling"


This is a blog tribute to my "Dolly" on her 25th Birthday! My sister's nickname from my grandmother was "Doll" and I nicknamed my first daughter "Dolly" in that memory. Kat, today is your special day and you're a quarter a century! Look at how far you've come! You've accomplished more in your short life than I have in twice the years! It's so odd to realize that I'm twice as old as you. I never figured that out before now! Dad and I were so lucky to have you all to ourselves for the first time ever, since you were born! Thank you for spending the weekend with us in Yellowstone! It was a BLAST. :) To our second born, but never second best, we love you so much! Happy 1/4 Century honey! Keep living every day to the fullest and always keep ONE foot on the trail! Hello Life! Hello DOLLY! Happy Birthday! P.S. There is a rule in Yellowstone that you're not suppose to get off the trail. Guess she was born to be WILD by NATURE. :)

PINK vs. RED

I don't remember ever really liking the color pink, as I really prefer red, but I think PINK is starting to grow on me. I was diagnosed yesterday with Grade 1 - Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. I am surrounded by loving friends and my children to support me as I jump on the train and "Race for the Cure". Women, please get your mammograms ON TIME. It will have saved my life and it could save yours. Please forgive the lack of posts. I really don't want it to be about cancer. I have so much more going on in my life which is POSITIVE. On a side note, my wonderful daughter Kathryn surprised me yesterday and came and painted my nails RED and gave me a little red tube of lipstick which has become somewhat of a pacifier for me. I didn't know I was hanging on to it so tightly until I saw the little indentation marks on my hand! I think I'm not going to fight the pink, I think I'll embrace the pink too, and fight cancer instead. Remember ladies, Cancer is a word - not a "sentence". :)

No Empty Chairs

President Ezra Taft Benson said "God intended the family to be eternal. With all my soul, I testify to the truth of that declaration. May he bless us to strengthen our homes and the lives of each family member so that in due time we can report to our Heavenly Father in His celestial home that we are all there--father, mother, sister, brother, all who hold each other dear. Each chair is filled. We are all back home."

Today, Kat and Travis came for BBQ Luncheon, and we were able to talk to our son, Spencer on the phone and our missionary daughter in London England Mission! Today, there were no empty chairs, and that felt so good. It was a perfect Mother's Day. Thanks everyone!

The GRADUATE! MAGNA CUM LAUDE!

Kat wanted Red Lobster for her Graduation Luncheon! Grandpa Dave and Grandma Nelda, and Carolene Cook and Mom (me) and Dad (Mark) and Travis all came to celebrate the graduation!

We're all seated and excited for Graduation to start! Cousin Melissa joined us and so did Paul (Kat's father in law!)

The Deaf Studies Students before graduating, in the tunnel waiting to walk down the aisle!

We're so proud of her to be going after her life-long dream of graduating with her Bachelor's with HONORS. She's also Nationally Certified at ADVANCED level. WooHoo!

The Cooks (in laws) were also there to congratulate the graduate! So glad they could join us too!

Cousin Melissa came for the graduation.

Yeah, we got a picture with all of us with Dad. Whew! :)

Just look at her! Beauty & Brains, she has it all. She got it from her Dad! We love you Kathryn! We are so very happy for you!

All Graduated! They are DONE! Awesome group of friends!

Tulip Festival!!!!

My wonderful visiting teachers (my friends) and Melissa and I went to the Tulip Festival at Thanksgiving Point. I had NO idea how huge it was and really rivals anything in California. It's tons of beautiful wide walking trails and amazing flowers. I hear it's beautiful ANY time of year! Wow, is all I can say!

The wind was blowing and I couldn't get my hair to stay still! Oh, and is that lipstick on my teeth? Yikes.... ha ha

There you go. One single moment of time that my hair will calm down.
Oops, time for a color touch up. Yes, I earned every one of those gray hairs! :)

"Pimp my Ride" Happy Independence Day

I think today was the first time I went to the grocery store all by myself in over 16 years without needing a ride. I could carry 4 grocery bags, and a bag of pharmaceuticals, and my purse! WooHoo! UTA told me that I need to get out more, and the electric wheelchair would help me not get so tired and dizzy especially with carrying stuff. They took the time to show me how to attach groceries and let me tell ya, I was soooo happy (although embarassed to be in a wheelchair) but I didn't inconvenience anyone. So that made it all worth it.

Front View, I put that stuff on my lap.

Side View

Check out the Mother-Lode. I was cruising! I love my new "car"!

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY TO ME! (yeah, winters are always harder...